Winter Dream
by Sandylee007
Summary: My official farewell fic two of two. ONESHOT Before leaving for Orochimaru, Sasuke realizes he has to say goodbye to Naruto. rather mild YAOI SasuNaru


A/N: Well… I wasn't exactly pleased with my first farewell fic – to be honest, I've considered deleting it. So I had to make another one. Sadly, I'm still forced to retire. (wipes tears)

But anyhow… This is my first – and apparently only – attempt of Naruto-fic, and as said it's SasuNaru yaoi. Basically (as said), it shows a couple of 'missing scenes' from where Sasuke left for Orochimaru. Pardon me if Sasuke's OCC in this one – I just felt like showing a side of him he wouldn't show anyone in the series.

Okay, without any further babbling, here's the story. I hope it doesn't suck too badly. Eh… Enjoy?

(Btw, the song – which is Russian, the original lyrics can be found from after the story – is 'Winter Dream' from Alsou, and sadly, I have no ownership of it, nor of Naruto. I just picked the song because I felt the lyrics fit well to the story, and I guess they also explain a slight bit of my feelings right now.)

* * *

**Winter dream**

* * *

/ _**Stars are getting higher  
Light doesn't make me crazy any more  
If you don't hear me,  
That means that winter's come**_ /

* * *

For some reason the chilly night-wind bit Sasuke far harder than it should've as he allowed his feet to guide him towards the edge of the city, the weight in his legs becoming heavier by each and every step. 

After a few steps he stopped with a deep frown, realizing that there was no going further. It wasn't until then he became aware of the painful gnawing somewhere deep inside.

His frown deepened, suddenly confused onyx eyes grew darker than the night around him.

What the heck was wrong with him?

And then, realization dawned on him.

Could it be… that the great Uchiha was regretting?

His eyes squinted.

No, never. He'd been desiring to take this road for far too long to surrender under remorse now. Wiped away and given up on too much.

But still… There was something he needed to do first.

And even the great might of Uchiha couldn't stop his feet as they whirled him around, starting to lead him back into the village.

* * *

_**The sky leaned in sadness  
Wrapping houses in twilight.  
Nothing more has happened,  
Just winter has come** /_

* * *

Sasuke blinked in surprise when realizing where some strangest power inside was leading him. Stood a mere step from a house a distant part of him recognized, he froze, frowning yet again. _Is this… Naruto's house? But why…?_

And it wasn't until then, the cold wind urging him forward along with every cell in his body, the mighty Uchiha finally admitted the truth to himself.

Mercifully, wind cowered the small, defeated cry that escaped his throat as he closed his eyes for a moment.

_Damnit…_

If only he could've told Naruto… But some things were meant not to be said.

Some feelings were meant to be buried.

As slowly as they'd closed, his eyes opened, gazing almost longingly towards a window before him. His heart made a strangest leap as he discovered it was open.

At that moment, he finally figured out why his mind hadn't willed him to leave. And he realized he'd never forgive himself if he didn't do this.

Naruto would never know. And who knows, perhaps eventually, he'd be able to convince himself that this was all just a dream. A beautiful illusion that was supposed to come to an end. Nothing but a lousy fairytale that never got a chance to live until its happy ending.

His steps were soundless as he finally made up his mind and started to walk forward.

* * *

/ _**The day I saw you in my dream  
I made it up myself.  
Winter silently covered the earth**_ /

* * *

Soundlessly slipping into the dark room, Sasuke almost chuckled at the mess he could – despite darkness – see all around him. 

Just like he'd imagined…

Just then, he almost jumped when a sound of bed screeching was heard. Quickly turning his gaze, he saw Naruto shifting in his bed, muttering incoherent words in his sleep.

And suddenly, his heart seemed to weight a ton more than it should've. Quilt and something entirely different crushed his chest as he gazed at Naruto's innocent face, bathing in the silvery light. A mild slash of anger went through him.

_Damn you, dobe._

He'd always known this day was coming, that nothing – not even something as strong as what was roaming in his chest as he looked at Naruto that night – was meant to last forever. So why the heck did it hurt so much?

As though called, a flood of memories came to his mind. How he'd almost died to save Naruto during their battle against Haku, all the times he'd rescued the blonde, all the moment's when they hadn't been rivals or enemies…

A sigh escaped him as he kept looking at Naruto, understanding.

He'd let Naruto close, far too close.

But now, that night, it was time for him to cut all those ties – for both their sakes.

* * *

/ _**I didn't put out the lights  
In the lonely window for you.  
It's a pity that it was just a dream.**_ /

* * *

Shadows danced on the walls as the raven-hared teen – who'd stood stoned since he'd entered, consumed by his memories and the turmoil inside – finally moved, almost disappearing amongst the dark shades. Far faster than he'd expected, he was stood right by Naruto's bed. 

Something that'd never been seen before filled his eyes as he looked at the sleeping boy's peaceful, almost childlike face.

In a flash, Itachi's words came to his mind.

" _You must kill him."_

For a moment, his eyes slowly closed, then opened again, once more gazing down at the boy.

Once upon a time, maybe, he would've do as Itachi had told. But now…

He shook his head to himself, eyes flashing.

Some things were just too pure, too beautiful, to be stained with the bitterness of his revenge. And that's why…

Only silvery moon was there to witness when Sasuke's eyes slipped closed and he leaned forward. As though trying to spare them more privacy, clouds moved to cover the moon as his lips – for a briefest, faintest of moments – brushed the sleeping blonde's forehead.

_I'm so sorry…_

Somewhere outside, a sudden breeze of coldest wind picked up, howling like a wounded beast, screaming out all the sorrow the raven-hared teen was forced to lock into his cracking heart.

* * *

/ _**The moon dipped into my dreams,  
Turning the wind into haze.  
If I haven't come back to you,  
Means that winter has come**_ /

* * *

For a longest of moments, Sasuke allowed his lips to linger right above the blonde's forehead, the tingling temptation to lean forward again almost more than he could bear. Without him noticing it, he shivered, one fist balling helplessly, while the other, ice-cold hand hovered just above the sleeping youth, Naruto's body emitting the warmth it desired so. 

During those moments, it felt like whole world had been holding its breath, waiting anxiously. Until finally, slowly and uncertainly, the lips parted, trembling barely visibly. It took a long moment before a faint, soft whisper escaped, sounding strangled. " Naruto… _Gomen nasai_." His eyes finally opened halfway, gaping at the still sleeping boy, who's forehead was wrinkled – almost like, even in sleep, he'd known. The Uchiha gulped thickly, laboriously. " But we both knew it'd come to this… didn't we?"

From a source he had no idea of, he managed to pick up the strength and will it took to rip himself away from the boy. For another long moment he stood a couple of steps from the bed, watching as Naruto suddenly reached out a hand with a exasperated, almost terrified look upon his face. Hand meeting only thin air, the boy reached out frantically, seeming close to tears – fingers longing to touch something that was no longer there. " …S'ke…"

Sasuke's eyes grew dark as he gulped again, still not noticing the trembling that'd long since taken over his body – or the burning behind his eyes. " Goodbye."

It was the best he said goodbye before it was too late, he told himself. He needed to rip himself from Naruto, before the boy would become just as tainted as he was.

And with that, he disappeared like he'd never even been there – like a dream vanishing to morning's embrace.

Moon shone in Naruto's tears as the boy kept reaching out for something as treacherous as illusion.

* * *

/ _**Maybe snowstorms hindered,  
Maybe it was a delusion of approaching dawn.  
Remember we wanted  
Winter to come**_ /

* * *

The echo of Naruto's desperate whisper was still lingering in Sasuke's ears as his feet led him towards the last ones he needed to say goodbye to. So well his feet knew the way, that he only snapped out of his thoughts upon realizing he'd stopped. Lifting his head with a somewhat mystified blink, he realized he was stood before a all too familiar gravestone. His hand squeezed around the single rose he was carrying, so tightly the thorns pierced pale skin. 

After all the years passed, all the tears of endless sorrow and hatred shed, his eyes weren't sent stinging anymore – Sasuke figured he'd ran out of tears. But a spear seemed to be plunged through his chest, and his eyes squinted, their shade yet again shifting.

When he spoke after several minute's silence, his voice was raw, almost weak, unfamiliar. " Mom, dad… You know I have to do this." He wasn't sure if it was a statement, or if he was merely trying to convince himself. Slight, red glow could be seen in his eyes. " This is the reason I've been holding on, fighting back. This is my destiny. You know it as well as I do."

It wasn't until at that moment, as he bent down and gently set down the perfect, white rose, he realized his legs were trembling. Steeling himself, he yet again squinted his eyes and fought back tears, gulped down the lump in his throat.

He wouldn't cry, not anymore. Not another tear.

What he said next came as a surprise to even himself. " Just… When Naruto comes after me, and especially after that… Take care of him for me, please. Because… He'll never understand." Strange warmth came to his cheeks, but he refused to believe it could've been tears. " Make sure he forgets."

With those words, he forced his suddenly weak body up. Once more, his eyes found the tombstone, gaze strangely cloudy. " I love you. And I promise you, I'll destroy Itachi for you – even if it kills me." Those bitter words stinging his throat, his expression became harder than steel. For a second time that night, he whispered a certain word. " Goodbye."

And yet again, the youngest remaining Uchiha disappeared, like a fragment of imagination. All that remained of him was the echo of his words, left lingering into the howling wind.

" _Take care of him for me."_

* * *

/ _**Voice, silent, mysterious…  
Where are you, sweet one, the only one?  
My dream**_ /

* * *

As sun lazily rose the next morning to greet the still sleeping village, crystalline drops glimmered like diamonds on the surface of the breathtakingly beautiful flower. 

Just like the tears that would soon be shed.

* * *

/ _**I'll become a blizzard  
White and tender  
My dream**_ /

* * *

**Owari.**

* * *

A/N: G'bye, guys! I'll miss you! (hugs each and every one of you in tears) 

And although I'm retired, please do review – I'd really like to know how you felt about this story, as I'm still not too sure about it myself. And I won't mind if you hit me with a PM, either.

* * *

Алсу - Зимний сон 

Звезды поднимаются выше  
Свет уже не сводит с ума  
Если ты меня не услышишь  
Значит, наступила зима

Небо, загрустив, наклонилось,  
в сумерки укутав дома  
Больше ничего не случилось  
Просто наступила зима

в тот день когда ты мне приснился  
Я все придумала сама  
На землю тихо опустилась зима

Я для тебя не погасила  
Свет в одиноком окне  
Как жаль что это все приснилось Мне

в сны мои луна окунулась  
ветер превратила в туман  
Если я к тебе не вернулась  
Значит наступила зима

Может помешали метели  
Может предрассветный обман  
А помнишь мы с тобою хотели  
Чтобы наступила зима

Голос тихий таинственный  
Где ты милый единственный  
Сон мой

вьюгой белою снежною  
Стану самою нежною  
Сон мой


End file.
